Part 2

Lijie got up this morning in terrible pain from his eye. And not the whining kind of pain that kids get when they get a sliver, or a paper cut. He was sobbing inconsolably and shaking, he was hurting so bad. I took his eye patch off and it was so gross looking...his eyelashes were gummed shut and there was green goopey pus everywhere. So I loaded up both the kids and took Lijie in to the doc. The doctor attempted to look at the eye but Lijie was so hysterical by this time that he was only really able to take a peek at it. He left the room and came back with a piece of paper and told me that I had to take him to the ER asap. He said he was very concerned that Lijie had seriously damaged his eye..and he wasn't going to torture him there by trying to look at it. He said Id have to take him to the hospital and they would have to sedate him.

Fabulous. Just what every mother wants to do on a Friday morning with her six year old. (And a 10 month old who can't POOP in tow. More about that later...)

Lijie is still in his jammies. Rhys is in her filthy jammies and I haven't had a coffee yet..but off we go to the hospital.
~Side note:
On the way there, I called hubby at work and told him what was going on. Lijie was screaming in the background he was in so much pain..and understandably..very afraid.
Hubby said.."well can you find someone to come and help you with Rhysie?"
I felt like screaming..THATS WHY I CALLED YOU, PECKER HEAD. But I didn't. I hung up on him instead and threw my cell phone on the floor of the truck. (very mature ..I know.)

As I drove to the hospital I was getting myself more and more worked up. Lijie was howling, Rhys was getting mad because I hadn't even had a chance to feed her yet and I was really worried about Lij and his eye. (I was also a smidge mad at hubby..I will admit. I needed HELP. I was having to lead the blind boy around because he still wouldn't open his good eye as well as lug Rhysie with us and it wasn't working so well.) Little did I know then , that it was all about to get...much much worse.

We pull into the hospital parking lot and I am trying to decide how to maneuver Lij, Rhys, the big diaper bag and myself into the building. I take Rhysie out (in the carseat first...) and place her safely on the sidewalk. Then I go and drag Lij out, guiding him to the sidewalk and lugging my big assed bag behind us. Its at that moment I realise that Ive left the Dr's referral sheet in the truck. DAMNIT!
I tell Lijie to Stay PUT and not move. And I turn around and start to run for the truck. Im not quite sure what happened next...I remember starting to run..and then my feet galloping faster than my body could follow. I KNEW I was going down...and I couldn't do anything to stop it. And so...I fell. Very fast and very hard. I skidded down the handicapped wheelchair ramp indent on the sidewalk, and landed mostly on my elbows. It took me a moment to realise what had happened. I had a searing pain in my arm and leg..and a mouthful of dirt. I was bleeding through my damn hoodie and my elbow felt crunchy. As I tried to get up and compose myself I was struck with the thought that I had hurt myself. And rather badly.
This was when Lijie (blind..remember) started walking back and forth and screaming..
"Mom. MOM. Where ARE YOU?"
Summoning up all the energy and adrenaline I had, I went to the truck, got the paper..then went and got Lijie and Rhys (still in the carseat..) and carried us all into the hospital ER.

By this time I had started shaking wildly. My black hoodie was covered in dirt and grit..and my arm was starting to feel "dead". The triage nurse looked at me, looked at Lijie hollering and said, "Oh my goodness. What happened to you guys?"
I said I was fine, that we were here for Lijie. She looked at me kind of funny and said, "You don't look fine." I assured her I was ok and that it was Lijie who needed the medical attention, NOT me. They got Lijie going and in the meantime talked me into letting them look at my arm. The triage nurse told me she thought it might be broken. Which was probable seeing as how I thrown my ENTIRE girth on it. But I didn't have time for a broken arm. How was I going to guide Lijie around and carry Rhys with only ONE good arm? I poo pooed the nurse and said I was sure it was good (as blood ran down my arm and bits of my hoodie were actually ATTACHED to the road rash..) and that my only concern was Lijie. She said she thought I was full of poo and made me fill out a chart and become a "patient" with Lij. All this time I have this dialogue running through my head:
"DANI YOU DUMBASS!! YAH PICKED A FINE TIME TO TRIP OVER YOURSELF YOU MORON!!!"

By this time my mom had showed up, thank god and she was trying to make sure the kids were ok while I was getting looked at. They finally got Lijie into a room and Dr. No Nonsense walks in. "Hi. Im the Doctor. Im here to take a look at the young lads eye."
Good luck with that Dr. Dumb Ass.
I said, "He won't let you near his eye. He's scared and in pain."
Dr. No Nonsense gives me a catty smirk and goes over to Lijie with his eye numbing drops and tries to look into Lijies eye. Lijies screams in horror and starts bucking and jiving on the gurney.
Dr. Dumb Ass steps back, takes off his gloves and says.."Okie Dokie then. Lets get him some pain medication!"

They decide that Lijie needs an IV so that they can give him drugs for the pain. A nurse (ironically enough, named Dani.) comes in and smears Emla cream all over both hands, says she is going to give it 20 mins and come back to do the IV.
In the meantime , Im sent for xrays.
When I get back they are prepping for the IV. And I just know it isn't going to go well. Lijie is still hurting and he is so scared. I feel helpless and of no use.
IV insertion goes BAD.
They do everything they can to try and get him to stay still..(they even wrapped him up in a sheet like a mummy..) but he fights it. They poke him twice and he screams and thrashes. He's also dehydrated because he hasn't drank anything or eaten in 24 hours. After 10 mins they give up and Lijie is completely exhausted..and over wrought. The Doc comes in and says we have a couple of options. Sedation by "gas" which he says doesn't really work all that well, or sedation via Ketamine which will give him pain relief, knock him out a bit and allow them to look at the eye, clean it up and freeze it as well for some relief. He has to be moved into ANOTHER room.
I am starting to feel sick for him...we've been at the hospital for 2 hours..I keep promising him that soon it will all be over and his eye will stop hurting. And he's just so upset.

In the new room they change the plan and decide that he needs an IV. And once that is in, then they will give the Ketamine. (Which ... by the way, is the drug that everyone takes when they go to RAVES and whatnot ..give fantastic hallucinations apparently...) And it starts again....
You can hear him screaming from , what seems like , miles away. I have to leave the room. I can't stand seeing him like that. I just can't...
It takes 4 nurses, a doctor, a respiratory therapist and Launi to hold Lijie down to get the IV in. I am starting to feel beside myself.
Once the Ketamine AND Versed are in, Lijie is completely konked out. He has an oxygen mask on and looks like an over cooked noodle laying on the bed. I am so sad for him, but also relieved because FINALLY..he isn't hurting.
They check out his eye. And its no wonder the poor kid has been screaming. He has a HUGE abrasion in the center of his eye. :(
They give him more Ketamine. His eye gets washed out and they smear ointment all over it.

Awhile later, he starts to , "come to"..and Oh MY god. I have never seen anything like it in my life. He's slurring his words, hallucinating..waving his fingers in front of his eyes. He says things like:
"Why am I dreaming..but still awake?"
"Why am I flying Mom?"
"What have they done to me Mom?"
"I feel googley Mooooooooom".
He keeps drawing out his words and swinging his head around. (It is rather funny when he wiggles his fingers in front of his eyes..)

He falls asleep for awhile. When he wakes up he is somewhat more alert. They give him more pain meds in the IV and then disconnect him and send us on our way. Lijie is sporting another eye patch and keeps asking us when he gets to go home.

He tells me later that he thought they were trying to kill him. :(
The parent guilt could be enough to kill ME!!!!

Its been such a long day.......*sigh*
We finally got Lijie to sleep. When we got home he slept for a little bit but woke up hysterical again. He cried for over an hour until the codeine the Dr. prescribed kicked in. But the codeine gave him a bad stomach ache...so we were dealing with that as well. *UGD*

My arms and elbows, are covered in road rash. My knees are torn up..and oddly enough the top of one of my thighs. My arms and elbows are turning a fantastic lavender hue. They bandaged me up and put my arm in a sling...which renders me very useless...so I only wear it when Launi reminds me to.

Im so tired now. Rhys is over tired and is having a heck of a time staying asleep..so it might be a long night for me. Lijie seems to be sleeping peacefully for the moment and I hope that lasts all night. Keep your fingers crossed for us. ;)

Tomorrow is a fresh day. Im always glad when I leave the hospital that Im leaving WITH my child. And that Im leaving, knowing he is going to heal. There are those who don`t have that luxury. I keep trying to remind myself of that.

xo
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